WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO BE??

Loneliness and solitude are two terms-easily differentiated in dictionary but it’s hard to classify feelings between the two in real life. The reason is simple. All books, bollywood, Hollywood show only two colors- black and white, but the reality is something else-it is made up of shades of grey.

As she stood at the doors of her favorite coffee shop-it was hodgepodge in her mind whether she was lonely or in solitude. Her mind displayed strong attitude- Solitude; but her heart – her heart laid quietly, simply beating. Either it had stopped talking to her or she had stopped talking to her or she had stopped hearing it- she did not know.

She stepped in. She wanted to spend some time with herself. “Self discovery is required” .The words echoed in her head. Gentle calmness painted her face pink. Who knew she owned an ocean of commotion?

“Mocha coffee alone or with her boyfriend? Espresso coffee alone or with friends? Which friends? Devil’s own or café frappe? Coffee or video game? Video game or a book? “

“Shut up”-she told her mind. She ordered cappuccino with extra sugar. It was fine for her.

The next question was “WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO BE” after answering the question “WHO AM I”.

Dad wanted her to be an IAS officer. She dreamt of being a writer. Circumstances threw her into a whirlpool of medical science. Career wise, she was going to be a doctor. Family wise she was a well mannered daughter and a caring sister. Socially she had a bunch of blossoming friends, but what about her individuality??

She took a deep sigh. The aroma of Brazilian beans tickled her nose. A sip of coffee with whipped cream ornamented with chocolate sauce jiggled her thoughts.

She knew what she wanted to be now. It was so clear and yet so complex. Firstly, she had to re-connect with her heart. It was the need of the hour. She had to follow her heart because heart is one place where the serenity of Universe lies. Heart does not judge. Heart does not differentiate between good and bad. It simply leads you to answer the question “ who I’m supposed to be”.

She stood up confidently. The destination was unknown but she knew the path, guided by her heart.

Life is easy. We are so much habitual of mathematical equations that we apply the same in our lives. Do not worry of the ending point. Just live the path shown by your heart. Let not energy in the form of love end. Career, family, friends all stand important but do not forget that your individuality, your reason for existence on the earth is the priority.